Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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