sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
