I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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