I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
