why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
