Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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