I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
and she was petting her beer can
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Someone came in the potted fern
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
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