At least make sure they are 18
Why
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
