This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
