I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
