I could make wine with my vomit
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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