So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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