I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
