Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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