We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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