im drinking this country out of the recession.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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