I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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