I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
