1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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