I think im going to throw up on grandma
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
