You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
