im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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