Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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