She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
