East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
