you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
