We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
