Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I can't trust your balls anymore.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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