I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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