i can't believe i had my finger in that
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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