Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
