I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
