She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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