why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
