Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Fuck appropriateness.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
