he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
