I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
