It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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