Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
