Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
