Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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