The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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