How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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