I'm jealous of your bromance
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
