He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
