You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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