I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
