you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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