I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
