this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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