all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
